9. Dee: “This is how therapy has helped me”

I started therapy a few years ago. At the time I was struggling with anxiety attacks, social anxiety, and depression, and it was becoming so intense that it was hard to live my life. My anxiety was morphing into depression, and I realised I wasn’t able to deal with it on my own anymore. At first, therapy felt weird, but now I love it and look forward to having an hour every month or so that is just about me, where I talk about things that are worrying me or parts of myself that I want to understand.

If I had my time over, I would definitely start therapy again — and maybe earlier. I have grown and become so strong (mentally) over the years and these are just some of the ways therapy has helped me;

1. It helped me recognise that the anxious thoughts are good at disguising themselves as helpful thoughts. That I have those thoughts to protect myself, but they are actually making me feel worse than I need to, and often the things I’m anxious about aren’t rooted in reality.

2. It gave me new ways of thinking, or tips to improve my wellbeing that I would never have thought of myself.

3. I learned that not all trauma comes from big negative life experiences, and sometimes the little things can build up over time.

4. I stopped feeding my perfectionism and learned how to be satisfied with doing or being ‘enough’ rather than always giving 150% and sacrificing my wellbeing.

5. I know that if things get hard in my life that there is someone (my therapist) dedicated to helping me work through it, and that is a very comforting thought.

I think I was lucky that my GP recommended a psychologist who I got along with pretty quickly. However, the first few sessions were a little strange and awkward because I didn’t know what to expect, how much I should tell them, if they would judge me for things I’d say, or if therapy was going to help. But things started to become easier after those first few sessions. Now that we have been working together for so many years, we have a good relationship. I get excited to tell them when I achieve things, or when I was able to use skills they taught me. Sometimes we talk about emotionally challenging topics and I cry and struggle, other times we talk about Chris Evans and great fried chicken restaurants.